A letter to myself
It’s 7:23 PM. The weather has abruptly turned harsh. Branches are swaying in every direction, submitting to the force of relentless gusts. I have left my window slightly open, inviting the raging air making howling noises when passing through. Suddenly, darkness envelops the room as the lights go off. And, I find myself in a dark room, accompanied by the strains of music and overlapping thoughts.
The atmosphere is affected by the recent forest fires, a reminder of nature’s wrath. I think the sky will pour, as soon as this stormy wind is calm. Perhaps tomorrow morning, I will get dazzled with the view of the distant hills, which are now blurred with polluted air.
I am thinking of going on a morning walk at 5 AM, which I neglected in recent days as sleep has become more dear to me. These days, I find solace in my own company.
Is it a blessing or a curse to recall every detail? Since my teenage years, I longed for ceaseless activity to evade excessive thoughts. Yet, these years of leisure have forced me to confront myself, from which I am running my whole life. Sometimes, I fantasise about being an actor, where I would play different roles, with little time to be myself.It’s a realization that loving oneself can be never ending journey, particularly during periods when you seem lost. Even in the lowest point, i must try to see my worth. I must emerge from this cocoon to embrace the unknown, even if I feel unready.
— Letter to myself may6,2024
